New Topic At The Counter Project!

Come check out this new question about why this awesome girl is still single & my thoughts on the matter!!

Just What I Wanted To Hear

I get a message from a guy on a dating site & when I read his profile it says this:









Just what I want out of a man, low expectations! Probably not the best choice in words buddy, personally I like people to have at least moderate expectations from me, this basically says to me "I don't care if you show up in sweats, I don't even care if you really like me, just so long as you are nice to my face".

Think Before You Write....

Fellas, when you are on a dating site & you message a girl repeatedly & she responds telling you that she’s not interested or seeing someone or just flat out doesn’t like you, you need to just accept that. It’s not cool to send nasty messages to these women just because they aren’t into you, I mean for real guys. There is no need to take these things so personally, no thanks is no thanks & sending a message back telling someone they are a bitch or ugly isn’t going to bother them, you only do it to make yourself feel better & the women know that. If anything, we find it very humorous & feel bad that you have such poor self-esteem. So Tigger man or whatever your name is, I could say some pretty awful things here but I’m not going to sink to your childish level but for the record, I don’t live in Southwest Detroit or even the city of Detroit for that matter & had you actually read my profile you would have known that.

First Date

So I went out on a date with a new fella that I met on OkCupid & it turned out really well. I'm not usually the "let's go to my place" kind of girl on a first date but in my defense we had been chatting online & via text for a couple weeks & I'd already done my Google search & I felt very comfortable with him. We met for a few drinks at a place by me & then we went to my house & watched a movie & got a little "friendly". He left very very late & the next day he had to head out of town for work for about a week & I went out for a night of fun with 3 couples & my ex which was also good times but after having the new guy fresh on the brain I don't know that I gave the ex the attention he deserved. Obviously I don't owe anything to either of them (or the other guy) at the current moment but I can say that now that I'm actually dating & not just seeing one person it's a bit tricky to keep things straight!! I figure after a couple months I should be able to figure out who I want more from, who I want less from, and very possibly who I wish I'd never known!! I'll be sure to keep you posted on these guys & any others who may crop up although I don't know that I could keep more than 3 straight at once!!! I hope you all had a great weekend too :)

New Year, New Dates

Ok so I know it's been like a month since I checked in with this page but I've been busy...I went to TN for the holidays & didn't blog at all while I was on vacation for 2 weeks. So let me get you guys up to speed. I met a fella online & we hung out a few times & he never made a move which was weird so after a couple weeks of no contact at all I randomly heard from him & decided to take the situation into my own hands. Everything played out just as I hoped & planned & then he started maintaining contact with me & no I'm not the smothering kind (I know what you are thinking). A text here & there is hardly smothering & that's basically what our "relationship" consists of other than the occasional hook up which works great for me & for him too I'm sure. We can both live our lives, meet up when we want to & have some fun, then go back to business as usual.

So, things are going totally cool with fun boy when I get a call from an ex with whom I still do business on occasion. He tells me that him & his woman are done & he wants to take me out on a proper date, we broke up over 2 years ago & our relationship was beyond complicated but lets just say we kept it private. Of course I said I'd totally be down because after everything I went through with this man I at least deserve a free meal, trust me!!

Then yesterday I'm chatting with another ex online & I get the feeling that he's flirting with me. Now he just got out of a relationship about a month ago and I'm not looking to be some rebound girl, it's way too late in the game for that not to mention the fact that I already played a similar type role in his life over a year ago by being the girl who opened his eyes. I will admit however, that I definitely in a way miss him so I was very happy by the change but still unsure if he was actually flirting. Today, the boy was DEFINITELY flirting with me & I flirted right back so my friends I hope to God that this may actually be my year, it's off to a flirty good start all around & I've been waiting 31 years to be lucky in love so keep your fingers crossed!!

Friends Like That

Have you ever had that friend who can't seem to stay out of your business? That friend who always has to be up in your shit even though you aren't up in theirs? Well I have one of those friends & she just did something that has embarrassed me so much I can't stop thinking about it. Well, here's the deal, I met a guy online & we hit it off well not really enough to be a couple but enough to "enjoy each others company" on occasion. So I tell my friend about our first night together & she turns around & requests him as a friend on MySpace...who does that?! She had asked me in the past if she could request him & I told her no yet she did it anyway! She claims she did it so that she could check out his pictures but I know she did it to attempt to make some sort of contact/bond with him. She just can't seem to allow other people to have any satisfaction that doesn't involve her especially when it comes to men. It never really occurred to me before but none of our friends wives like her & since I never really cared too much for many of our friends wives I just thought they were all bitches. I can now see how she is regarding our friends husbands as well...she's very negative & it's like if it's not for or about her she just can't stand it. I'm all about my friends & my boyfriends getting along but if she ever got all flirty with my man like she has with our friends in front of their wives I would definitely have something to say about it! Being my super close friend it really makes me beyond embarrassed that she would do this to me, I'm now mortified & look like some crazy bitch to him because of her behavior & I'm so sick of making excused for others. I'm single dammit & what I do & who I do it with has nothing to do with anyone other than us & though I may share my stories with people I assume I can trust it really bothers me that they feel that it is ok to involve themselves personally in the matter. It's uncool & unfair & I'm very unhappy!!

Don't Date This Guy!!

I was on a dating site today & happened to stumble upon a profile of someone I dated a decade ago for seriously a second. He seems a little bitter, check out his "about me", enjoy!

So the douche bags that run this website removed 7 of my pictures because in one of them I was wearing a Halloween mask? So the other 6 that were perfect head shots weren't good enough? With that being said lets tell the truth about the "real" purpose of this website...

First, lets talk about the quality of women on here...I break it down to this...Some of the girls are fat(thank God for the headshot rule) The fat girls wouldn't get me to jerk off and throw it at them...and I think I speak for most dudes....so of course they have to crowd this site to get a date, get laid, or (lmao) find a boyfriend...Then there are a lot of single moms...young/old doesn't matter you are divorced, never married with baggage....Not interested...I don't care what you look like....When you are naked I don't want to see your wrecked body, or have to close my eyes cause I was bored and pretend you are Jessica Alba with D tatties....Next just plain ugly...Obviously you still haven't mastered photo shop and if you have...Guess what? You are still ugly...Hence your reason for being here....Then there is the small (like a ****ing grain of sand) group of girls that are goodlooking...Most of them never write you back anyways so what is the point? I realize I am far from a super model, but when I say hi...you can take 30 ****ing seconds to write back....I file them under stuck up ****es...No body would talk to them in real life cause they are ****es so to them hopefully they can kick around some dumbass from this site...Not me....Then the fake profiles...The girl in the bikini or smokin hot chick that has no reason to be on here in the first place...Obviously some dude who is bored, or some fat chick messing with guys to get revenge on them dissing her...Listen honey I didn't force the Oreos down your throat so quit wasting sever space...I dunno what is funnier the fake profile or the dumb **** that responds to it....

Now lets get to the real reason we (meaning men and women are on here) to get laid...Really? A first date were we can go on a walk? Have dinner? Talk? lmao? You are just gonna end up ass over ankles at some dudes place naked so skip the part were we spend money and get to "know you." Ladies do you really think you are gonna find a future husband or boyfriend on here? How naive? So don't put your are tired of games, looking for prince charming, blah blah blah...Cause you are not gonna find it on here....See the problem is no body is ever willing to talk about why they are really here...Men and women alike try a mask it with the hangout, or editing to no hook ups or sex...But really that is all they want...Fatties, single moms, ugly chicks, and even your occasional **** all need to get some sometime...So the birth of this comical website....

Stop before you get your panties in a bunch and decide to write me with a hateful message...I realize I am an ***hole...I don't need some chick with a mooseknuckle and b-i-t-c-h t-i-t-s to message me and tell me that..Feel free to send your opinions I guess..

Great Way to Get a Date!!

Not really. So I got a hit from a guy on OkCupid yesterday and he was kind of cute but was in the photo with 2 young girls. So I check out his profile only to find that he is the parent of these girls and my profile says "please don't contact me if you have children" so I'm guessing this poor guy can't read. Anyway, I decided to read his profile anyway...he may be a multi millionaire with a nanny so the children won't be my responsibility ever (as if)...so here is what he had to say about himself, this is the first thing people read on a profile mind you.



Now don't all of you jump on the site & start looking for this guy, all the ladies are gonna be trying to get a piece of him! This certainly explains why it is that he is only looking for "short term dating".

Another First Date

So last night I went out for beers with a cute guy that I met on OkCupid. Apparently he looks like a young Donnie Osmond as the bartender Bridgette was all about him and said she was tempted to call her girlfriends to come up there & take a look at him because they all had their walls lined with posters of him when they were young. While I found this funny he seemed a little uncomfortable & the funny thing is, his profile on the site makes reference to the resemblance so after she was done fawning we got a giggle out of it. We sat & talked & had a few beers for a couple hours and I really enjoyed myself. We have plenty in common and plenty not in common but enough in common that the convo was able to flow for the duration and then a bit in the parking lot. I thought he was really cute, had a nice (and very white) smile, was well dressed, and smelled good which is a huge plus for me (I'm very big on smells). I thought he said that he really liked kids & they were a lot of fun but then he started showing me these scratches he got while playing with one then we talked about cats so I'm thinking maybe he said kittens!! I do think that he does want kids according to his profile but I can't remember & we didn't get that far in our discussion. I enjoyed the fact that he had great body language while I probably seemed kind of standoffish but that's just me. He touched me a lot but not in a creepy way so I read that he was interested by said behavior. He is more outdoors than I am, as I've said before my idea of roughing it is a 2 star hotel, and he's still into going out on weeknights while I just can't hang anymore, but as you are all aware, I like having separate interests as well as common ones so these things didn't bother me too much. I honestly would like to see him again and unlike my last date, after 3 beers I did want to sleep with him which means that he deserves to see me again. Lucky bastard!

And it continues....

funny thing is, i think i'm more attracted to you now. i think it is very sweet and considerate of you to write me and be honest with me. i think you showed alot of class by that. heres's a gift just for being a sweetheart. p.s. you really never know what you might be missing out on unless you give it a try

I can't wait to see if more will come, this is like a new TV show!!

Follow Up: Why Don't You Like Me?

Ha, so I get this response...even here, his spelling is so awful I can barely stand reading the message! I did not edit anything, this is the message exactly other than my adding the bold text to the obvious terrible spelling & what not.

"just want to let you know that i am well educated and am capable of writting with proper spelling and punctation. the reason i dont on my profile is, i would think people would not have to worry about the proper punctation and spelling because this is only a dating site nonthing professional."

Nothing professional? Let me tell you something pal, you didn't get the job!

Why Don't You Like Me?

So I had a gentleman that I turned down leave me the following message(s) & I wasn’t even going to dignify his behavior with a response but felt it would be in the best interest of girls that he will contact in the future to let him know exactly why I wasn’t interested. Below you will find his 2 messages and then my reply.

"no offense, but the reason i am not your type is because i dont have the tall, athletic, pretty boy look with the moosed up highlited spikey hair. i have done studies in one of my pyc classes, and that seems to be the only type. not too many women go for the nice boy harry potter look."

"well just curious to how i'm not your type. you dont empahasize anything about looks on your profile, maybe you should if thats whats important. i think you might be missing out on a fun good guy, but i respect that you wroteme back anyway. most women think there to good to write guys like me back and then wonder why they're single and cant find a good guy. it mainly because every women out there is competeting for the same guy. i do think you're beautiful. does looks matter anyway? you're 30, in another 20 to 30 years looks are going to be gone anyway. maybe even in 10"

Hello J,
Let me start by saying that you seem very bitter in your profile which I don’t find attractive but the main reasons that you aren’t my type is the fact that your interests don’t match mine, and your poor use of grammar and spelling. It really was not your appearance. I am not attracted to the “Gotti boy” image like you seem to think.
I would also like to give you a tip that sending a woman a message making assumptions as to why she isn’t interested only illustrates your lack of self-confidence. You immediately assume that she doesn’t like the way you look which is evidence that you are uncomfortable with your own appearance and that is not attractive at all. It seems as though you are trying to place blame on others for why you are not having luck in love, but you might want to look inside yourself to figure that out and maybe things will perk up. Best of luck to you in your search for true love!!

K

Post a Photo

So I created a profile today for the FOX dating site for the local folks. I ran my first search & while I got over 20 matches, they weren’t actually matches. None of the guys I got matched with were attractive, at least not as far as I’m concerned…I’m not really into blondes or mullets! So here is my quam with dating sites & the people that are on them. Do you ever get that “hit” from someone & you go to check out their profile & their photo is taken from like 20 feet away, or it’s a group photo & they don’t have themselves labeled, or the worst is no photo at all. See, I used to feel bad when I’d ask for a photo from someone & then I’d get the pic and know why they didn’t post one, but do these people really think that they will get to know someone well enough that they will fall in love with their personality first? No, they won’t, because most people won’t have a 2nd conversation with someone without a photo. Now I don’t feel bad for just saying “sorry, but I just don’t find you attractive” and closing out our communication. I mean if they would have had the photo posted to begin with we could have skipped me being honest because I wouldn’t have contacted them in the first place. So I guess my suggestion to people is…if you don’t mind being told that you are unattractive then go ahead & omit the photo from your profile. If you would rather people not contact you because they don’t find you attractive from the get go, then post a damn photo! I also can’t stand the photos from like 5 years ago, are you kidding? I know you have more recent photos & the reason you aren’t posting them is probably because you don’t look as good now as you did then, but once you meet someone they are gonna figure it out so save yourself the embarrassment & just take a current solo photo from within 5 feet of you & post it! Thanks!

Online Dating

So I’m going to give you guys some insight on dating websites. I am a member of many of them but usually only actively use one at a time. I just finished up with a 3 month subscription to eHarmony, last year I did a 3 month stint on Yahoo personals, and currently I’m trying a free website called Plenty Of Fish. Now, I can’t say that my testimonials of these sites are going to be true for you as well but I’d like to give you my opinion of how they did/didn’t work for me. Well, obviously none of them have worked for me because I’m still single but some proved to be better because I met more people and went on more dates than other sites.

Yahoo Personals: This site proved true for all kinds of first dates, very few second dates, but I did meet some cool people. These guys may not have been actual dating material for me but were still my kind of people and I do remain in touch with a couple of these guys. I did meet one that seemed great but didn’t represent so well in person, it seemed as though I was hanging out with my ex. I was instantly turned off by that fact, because if I wanted to date my ex then he wouldn’t be my ex now would he?

Match.com: I’ve never subscribed I do have a profile on there but don’t actually use the site, ever. I think the fact that Dr. Phil has involvement with it makes me very hesitant to actually sign up.

EHarmony: This site was a huge waste of money for me. They “matched” me up with all kinds of people & guess what? None of them were actually matches. All these guys had kids, wanted kids, were fat, lived like 50 miles away…just nothing I wanted. I actually ended up talking to 2 and meeting 1. The first guy I was excited about until I found out he was a cop & then he told me that he screwed up his page & actually did want kids. Bye bye. The second one, he was nice & decent looking, but I didn’t feel any sexual chemistry & if I don’t feel anything after 3 beers then I don’t think it will work, plus he lied on his profile & said he was a non-smoker & he was a smoker. So after 3 months & like $80 I got nowhere so I deleted my account. I was very specific that I didn’t like or want kids or guys with kids and 90% of the guys I got had kids! I was specific that I wanted someone close to home (like 10 miles) and everyone lived in like Saginaw, plus I don’t like the fact that you can’t search for people…you get matched & that’s it & I’m sorry but I like browsing profiles & picking the people that I find attractive, not the people you SAY I’m compatible with.

Chemistry: Same as Match but without the Dr. Phil issue…I just can’t afford this site either.

Plentyoffish.com: This site is free, so I figure I have nothing to lose, I’ll let you know how it goes but I’ve already been chatting with a couple people & it’s only been like 3 days. The nice thing about this site is you can search for booty calls, husbands, friends, pen pals…whatever you want it’s probably on there.

Okcupid: This site is my favorite, it's kind of like Myspace for dating! They have quizzes & questions that you can answer to help gauge compatibility with others, it's actually fun & I think the people are in general younger & just more of a technology based community if you will, they are the Facebook/Myspace types if that helps. Anyway, I've met some awesome people on here & I suggest it to people all the time.