I Can't Save You!!!

So I’m concerned for a friend of mine that I used to date. We were together a couple years back for a few months & his level of maturity wasn’t up to par with mine. It didn’t help that he was about 5 years younger than me nor did it help that we were in 2 completely different places in our lives either. So, over the years we’ve stayed friends, us getting along was never the issue…we had a ton in common & really, the sex was great so for the most part we were compatible. Anyway, him & his girlfriend broke up about a month ago & he told me that he was totally cool with it, she was too immature for him, he needed to move forward & had she not been moving it would have ended anyway so I assumed he was telling me the truth. See, I am kind of like a guy & generally take everything that is told to me at face value & when you say that you basically weren’t that into her anymore anyway, that’s how I take it so I assumed he was fine.

I started talking to him more & inviting him places & he came out one night & things were totally cool between us & I thought “hmmm, I wonder if maybe now that time has passed we could actually have some success”. Well, after we hung out the once everything was totally cool, we laughed & had some beers & we all had a really good time. The next day we texted a bit back & forth & all was good. Monday I email him something short & funny/dirty & instead of the usual flirty response I get what seems like an attitude filled comment. All day every time I asked a question he would either ignore it or respond all bitchy like. I opted to stop talking to him at that point & let him be, I figured that maybe he was pissed at me or someone else but I wasn’t going to deal with it. Right before the weekend I asked about is plans & he was super bitchy & I asked if he wanted to try to hang out & he didn’t respond so I took that as a no. Well, today I spoke with a mutual friend & was informed that no, he’s not ok, yes he was super upset when his girlfriend moved away and he’s not handling it well. This is when I realized everything. He was flirting with me to try to feel something else/rebound/not be alone, to help him forget about her, but for me it would have all been false, I would have been used & not even known it, here I was stupidly thinking that he actually wanted to spend time with me when in reality he just didn’t want to be alone. I feel so stupid & used right now but I also worry about him & hope that he’s able to get back to good on his own because I care about him & his well being but I can’t be part of his recovery process.