Quote

My mom sent me this quote today & I think it's great: "Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."

New Topic At The Counter Project!

Come check out this new question about why this awesome girl is still single & my thoughts on the matter!!

Never Gonna Learn

Hey kids, looks like this dip-shit is never going to learn her lesson! Twice now I've met someone that I like & made the huge mistake of sleeping with them on the first date...generally I only sleep with guys on the first date if I don't want to see them again...and I ended up getting hoed out! I'm too good to treat myself & be treated this way so no matter how much I like someone or how horny I am I will not sleep with anyone I actually like right away, no way, now how & neither should you!

A Little Tid-Bit

I had a realization today about men in general & the way I fall into their world:

Men seem to have some sort of need to be needed & that's where I lack though men love being my friend because "I'm not like most chicks" though they turn around & marry "most chicks" so tell me how that makes sense?

Just What I Wanted To Hear

I get a message from a guy on a dating site & when I read his profile it says this:









Just what I want out of a man, low expectations! Probably not the best choice in words buddy, personally I like people to have at least moderate expectations from me, this basically says to me "I don't care if you show up in sweats, I don't even care if you really like me, just so long as you are nice to my face".

What A Douche!

So here is a screen shot of a Q & A on Yahoo Answers that I couldn't help but participate in!! Click on the image for an easier view.

Freaking Kids

Ok so those of you who know me know that I'm not a kid person, there are a few kids I like & when I have to I will tolerate children but I don't last long. My point on all of this is when the hell did everyone go from fun to parents? I'm beyond irritated by people who friend request me on sites like Facebook & MySpace & all the photos they have posted are of their children...how the hell am I supposed to know who they are? Also, every single status update involves their child...WTF? When I was a kid my parents lives did not revolve around me, sure I got what I wanted & was rarely told no, they carted me all over the place to dance & art classes & ice skating & to the movies but they had lives. My parents dumped me with a baby sitter at least once a week & when I heard my mom on the phone she wasn't talking about me, she was talking about herself or her friends & my dad...shit my dad's whole life revolved around himself & it still does. Yes, when it counted he was there, recitals, graduations, birthdays...etc but on a daily basis we all had our own lives so I just don't get why everybodys pages have to revolve around their kids! Facebook should seriously be renamed to Familybook because that's all it is, posts about taking kids to the Doctor & having no time for themselves & follow my pregnancy & all that other crap, if I really wanted to know I'd ask wouldn't I? I didn't join Facebook to find out what is going with your KIDS, we weren't friends in high school, you & I were so why not tell me how YOU are doing?!!! I understand that you have children & yay you if that's what you want but really, do you honestly think that everyone wants to hear all about your kids? These people really need to regain their identities before they are gone forever!

Get Out Of My Head!

Have you ever had one of those experiences that won’t seem to leave your brain? Well, I’ve had many over the years but for the last few weeks I can think of only one & no matter what I do to attempt to distract myself it’s constantly popping up & I’m starting to go crazy. For 3 weeks, every time I close my eyes all I can see are his eyes & hear his noises just as plain as yesterday & it’s brought me near tears because I can’t get rid of it. For whatever reason he obviously doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore & that’s fine, it’s his choice but if it was that good for me how could it not have been even remotely that good for him? I haven’t had one occasion burned into my brain like this in years & at least then I got to relive the experience repeatedly and often & was then able to replace the images with new ones. I mean, usually when I first become intimate with a man this will happen to me, I close my eyes & see the action playing out but it stops when I need to focus on other things or once I’ve concluded they aren’t/I’m not interested anymore but no such luck this time. I close my eyes & hear him say something & then my mind takes off & I see him above me or next to me, I can see his eyes staring into mine, I can still smell his skin & feel him pressed against me and this is constant…all day, all night it’s all I can think of. Saturday night for instance, I’m watching a movie, I’m all sucked in and then poof I end up on this whirlwind of sexual past & end up having to rewind the movie back to where I drifted off at. Friday night I paid to go to a movie & twice I drifted off thinking about him…how in the hell could I let anyone affect me like this? I’m not this type of person who can’t stop thinking about someone at least not for more than a week! I try to think of other men to cancel out this one night & no matter who or what I try to think of he pops back in & fucks with me. We had discussed just having a sexual relationship & I was totally down with that & then after like 1.5 to 2 weeks I think he just stopped contacting me, which I didn’t get. Why would a man take the time out to contact a chick repeatedly for 2 weeks & then just drop her? Probably because he met someone else which is fine but how hard is it to be honest? I think I’m most bothered because of this…it isn’t like we slept together & he blew me off, that I could handle, he’s the one who texted me the very next morning, he’s the one who told me I was an excellent lover, and he’s the one who asked to get together again. What the fuck did I do to deserve being treated like this? More importantly, why am I going to tell you this: if he does call, I’m seeing him again. Obviously if sex is so good you can’t stop thinking about it for 3 weeks then I’m going back but if there is a next time…I’m keeping my guard up because had I known this would be the outcome I’d have done that to begin with. Just like most men I too can have detached sex for gratification purposes only. What a fucker this guy is & how dare I admit that he even had the slightest affect on me, shame on me for being such a dumb girl & shame on him for being such a poor excuse for a man.

Joe Agius Won't Shoot You

Well guys, over the last few months I've been giving you all kinds of tips on dating & the shit I've been putting up with but today my friends I will tell you a story, a story of a crazy business owner who went insane on my friend Can, well for a while there they were insane on each other & that was a lot to handle! Ok so I'll give you some basic info that is needed to bring us to the reason I posted this to begin with. Joe Agius is a business owner of a prominent bar in Dearborn & in this bar is where Can & Joe met. Joe is married and doesn't seem to care much I guess because he was seeing Can & god knows who else for years, I'm sure he's probably still seeing other women but since I'm not around much anymore it's hard to know for sure but some things never change, lets just put it that way. Ok so Can & I lived together for some time so I was inadvertently stalked by Joe daily which was creepy, he would drive by & honk every single night...so annoying. Can & Joe had a very tumultuous relationship for like 5 years and one summer she hit him right in the face & broke the bone under his eye, this was funny. After the broken face incident things started to change a bit & Can started to understand that life was best without this douche bag. They both ended up taking out restraining orders on each other a few years back & that is basically what leads us here...due to the luxuries of community websites like Myspace & Facebook we can all stay in contact with people we love, like & loathe all at the same time, how awesome right? Not so much because you end up with shit like this coming through:

"Candy,Nice hipps, hows life any better? i want to own a hand gun. i promise not to shoot you with it. maybe how about taking off my hand cuffs? Joey"

So, what do you think, should she release the PPO & let Pound Cake (his nickname, if you saw him you'd get it) get a hand gun & not shoot her with it?The fact that he can't even properly spell hips makes me say no, plus the fact that I know the entire history of this situation also makes me lean toward no but part of me is thinking that she does live in another state now so maybe she should let him. I mean, I'm sure having the gun will provide entertainment for all of us in some way when he gets thrown in jail for pulling it on someone at the bar or accidentally shooting himself or some other dumb ass incident so really, this is a toss up!!

Happy V-D, Hope You Don't Get One!!

Prime? Hardly!

Ok, so I just wanted to bitch for a moment about how much it sucks to be a single woman in her sexual prime. Every second of every day I'm thinking about nothing but sex & I'm not joking. At work I'm at my desk working my ass off then poof, some memory or thought pops into my head & I lose all count of what I was doing & I quickly drift off to a land of nakedness & pleasure & have to remind myself that I'm working & to snap out of it. Because things at work have been so stressful lately I can usually make it about 20 mins before I think of sex but when I'm slow it's non-stop. Men always say "women can get laid anytime they want" well I'm not going to disagree with that but I'm not interested in just random sex with strangers, I want hot killer sex with certain men, the men who pop into my head during these constant fantasies of mine. These men are the ones who have made me very happy in the past, not celebrities or men that I wish I could get, but actual men who are good lovers & are actually accessible to me. The thing that is getting in my way as of late is the fact that I work...I can't stay up late during the week so I have to leave the loving for the weekends & then when I try to make it work something always gets in the way. The other thing getting in the way is that guys are dumb...I hint at hanging out & they actually think I want to hang out when really, I just want in their pants. Some of the men in my life are totally cool with me saying "stop by & screw me?" while others are put off by it but I'm getting sick of playing all of these make nice games & I'm sick of entertaining lovers only to not get the lovin in the end. Bottom line guys, just come do me & then we can have drinks & catch up after, isn't this every man's idea of a good time? What is with all of these pussy dudes? These guys act like I'm out of line asking for their services, they act like Donna Martin saving herself for Mr. right...WTF? I guess I just never expected guys to gain morals when it comes to banging chicks but as soon as that's what I'm looking for every man I come across is looking for more!! Yes I want to get married & all that shit but right now I just want to get laid...all the time so for those of you boys that I contact & ask if you want to get together this is what I'm talking about, I don't want to actually meet you in public & hang out with you & your friends!!!!!

Who could do better?

Are you with someone new? Have you gotten a new haircut? Are you just really wondering if your significant other is better looking than you? Click here, and find out what everyone else thinks!! This site is addictive, I love it. I heard an interview with the guy who created it on my morning show the other day & I sent it around to all my friends, I don't think anyone posted any pics of themselves but we all definitely voted on a bunch of the photos. Enjoy, and best of luck at being hotter than your partner!!

Great Article

A man's point of view on dating for a change, I quite enjoyed this article & it's totally true & I would have to say that I might be a female version of the guy who wrote it. I also dream of laying on the couch doing nothing while I'm at the gym...when I can trick myself into going that is!!

I Can't Save You!!!

So I’m concerned for a friend of mine that I used to date. We were together a couple years back for a few months & his level of maturity wasn’t up to par with mine. It didn’t help that he was about 5 years younger than me nor did it help that we were in 2 completely different places in our lives either. So, over the years we’ve stayed friends, us getting along was never the issue…we had a ton in common & really, the sex was great so for the most part we were compatible. Anyway, him & his girlfriend broke up about a month ago & he told me that he was totally cool with it, she was too immature for him, he needed to move forward & had she not been moving it would have ended anyway so I assumed he was telling me the truth. See, I am kind of like a guy & generally take everything that is told to me at face value & when you say that you basically weren’t that into her anymore anyway, that’s how I take it so I assumed he was fine.

I started talking to him more & inviting him places & he came out one night & things were totally cool between us & I thought “hmmm, I wonder if maybe now that time has passed we could actually have some success”. Well, after we hung out the once everything was totally cool, we laughed & had some beers & we all had a really good time. The next day we texted a bit back & forth & all was good. Monday I email him something short & funny/dirty & instead of the usual flirty response I get what seems like an attitude filled comment. All day every time I asked a question he would either ignore it or respond all bitchy like. I opted to stop talking to him at that point & let him be, I figured that maybe he was pissed at me or someone else but I wasn’t going to deal with it. Right before the weekend I asked about is plans & he was super bitchy & I asked if he wanted to try to hang out & he didn’t respond so I took that as a no. Well, today I spoke with a mutual friend & was informed that no, he’s not ok, yes he was super upset when his girlfriend moved away and he’s not handling it well. This is when I realized everything. He was flirting with me to try to feel something else/rebound/not be alone, to help him forget about her, but for me it would have all been false, I would have been used & not even known it, here I was stupidly thinking that he actually wanted to spend time with me when in reality he just didn’t want to be alone. I feel so stupid & used right now but I also worry about him & hope that he’s able to get back to good on his own because I care about him & his well being but I can’t be part of his recovery process.

Think Before You Write....

Fellas, when you are on a dating site & you message a girl repeatedly & she responds telling you that she’s not interested or seeing someone or just flat out doesn’t like you, you need to just accept that. It’s not cool to send nasty messages to these women just because they aren’t into you, I mean for real guys. There is no need to take these things so personally, no thanks is no thanks & sending a message back telling someone they are a bitch or ugly isn’t going to bother them, you only do it to make yourself feel better & the women know that. If anything, we find it very humorous & feel bad that you have such poor self-esteem. So Tigger man or whatever your name is, I could say some pretty awful things here but I’m not going to sink to your childish level but for the record, I don’t live in Southwest Detroit or even the city of Detroit for that matter & had you actually read my profile you would have known that.

Decision

Ok so last night I was chilling at home thinking about all of the stupid boys who are making me crazy & then I realized that I was making myself crazy! Just because I am confused doesn't mean that I'm not in control of my life. It occurred to me that I was freaking out because I didn't think I was in control of these situations with these guys. Here's my thing, in past relationships I always was part of the guy's relationship rather than them being part of mine & I had said that I would not allow that ever again. Well, just because I'm not calling every single shot doesn't mean that I'm not in control of my life. So long as I'm content & aware & accepting of the situation then I am in control of my life, I'm not being controlled like I was thinking I was. See in the past ones I basically spent all of my free time wondering if they were going to call, I would cancel plans with friends when they wanted to see me, I did whatever they wanted whenever they wanted me to do it & that's certainly not the way things are going now so I'm not going to fret. I'm choosing to wait & see what happens & if I don't hear from Friday date guy by tomorrow I'm sending one final text message & if I get no response then I'm done. His loss, not mine, right? Why would I want to spend any of my free time with someone who would treat me that way anyway?

What the Eff?

So I told you all that I had a great date this past weekend which I did & I thought he had a good time too but now I'm thinking that I got played! Now, I'm not the type of girl that expects my man to call me every day or even every other day, I do however expect them to respond to a text message. I sent a message to this guy that just said "hey, I thought I'd pop in & say hello, hope all is well & you are enjoying your journey"...he was on his way to the inauguration to work. I got no response at all & it's been over 24 hours. Now, the day after we hung out he sent me a text around 1 in the afternoon to say hi & see how I was & to ask about my STD background (which I totally respected) so I gave him the info which was good (I know you are thinking that my response is why he hasn't responded) and he thanked me & said he was getting on the road & he'd talk to me later. Well, it's 3 days later & I've heard nothing at all. Part of me is worried that he didn't make it to DC, part of me thinks that he's working & just doesn't have the time & then the biggest part of me is thinking that he's a cock face & I was dumb to assume otherwise!! I guess I just don't understand how hard it is to respond with a simple "hi, we made it" or even a "hey, I just used you" would be sufficient...don't leave a bitch hanging man, it's not cool at all.

Missing You

So 2 years ago today someone I dated for about 2 minutes died & it broke my heart. Ian was a funny & very outgoing guy who had a lot to learn back when I knew him, at least as far as dating older women went. Ian was a stage actor & very good at it & he was very good at other things too but I won't bore you with those details. When Ian died we weren't speaking and hadn't spoken to each other in over a year due to his behavior & the fact that I didn't like it. I found out from a mutual friend that I had broken his heart when in all honesty he was a fun time for me. I really wish I had been more in the know back when things between him & I got tense but everything happens for a reason I guess. I can say that, a small part of me will forever feel guilty for breaking his heart, being oblivious to it, not speaking to him for a year & then attending his funeral without ever being able to say that I did in fact care about him & enjoyed his company. We were in 2 completely different stages of our lives when we met which was obvious to me but I don't think he saw it the same way. The last time I saw him he had just performed in a play & as I went to go over & hug him an old couple cut me off & all I was able to give him was a smile & wink so I hope that minuscule gesture let him know in some way that I will always be grateful for getting to know him & will always miss him. Ian was a character to say the least & the story of how we met & reconnected will forever remain one of my favorite stories that is very close to my heart.

First Date

So I went out on a date with a new fella that I met on OkCupid & it turned out really well. I'm not usually the "let's go to my place" kind of girl on a first date but in my defense we had been chatting online & via text for a couple weeks & I'd already done my Google search & I felt very comfortable with him. We met for a few drinks at a place by me & then we went to my house & watched a movie & got a little "friendly". He left very very late & the next day he had to head out of town for work for about a week & I went out for a night of fun with 3 couples & my ex which was also good times but after having the new guy fresh on the brain I don't know that I gave the ex the attention he deserved. Obviously I don't owe anything to either of them (or the other guy) at the current moment but I can say that now that I'm actually dating & not just seeing one person it's a bit tricky to keep things straight!! I figure after a couple months I should be able to figure out who I want more from, who I want less from, and very possibly who I wish I'd never known!! I'll be sure to keep you posted on these guys & any others who may crop up although I don't know that I could keep more than 3 straight at once!!! I hope you all had a great weekend too :)

Friends & Lovers

Do you guys have those friends or family members who just seem to be trying even harder than you are to get you hooked up with someone? I don't know about you but I find this very annoying & at times a bit intrusive. I have a friend who is constantly asking guys that she meets if they are single because she has a single girlfriend that they might like. Who does that? An overbearing mother is who. I love my friends to death but they all seem to be so hung up on the fact that I'm single that it is starting to make me wonder if they even like me! That's a joke, I know they like me but I feel like they would like me better if I had a guy...why? I know that when I hang out with a couple the guy is always bored because me & my girl are chatting it up like crazy but that shouldn't be the reason for me to find someone...I'm not dating to find your boyfriend a buddy! Anyway, I just wanted to bitch about this for a minute and assure all of my friends that in due time I'll meet someone who makes both me & them happy but until then shut the eff up & stop pushing guys on me, that isn't going to help, it's only going to make me bitter when I meet them!!!!

New Year, New Dates

Ok so I know it's been like a month since I checked in with this page but I've been busy...I went to TN for the holidays & didn't blog at all while I was on vacation for 2 weeks. So let me get you guys up to speed. I met a fella online & we hung out a few times & he never made a move which was weird so after a couple weeks of no contact at all I randomly heard from him & decided to take the situation into my own hands. Everything played out just as I hoped & planned & then he started maintaining contact with me & no I'm not the smothering kind (I know what you are thinking). A text here & there is hardly smothering & that's basically what our "relationship" consists of other than the occasional hook up which works great for me & for him too I'm sure. We can both live our lives, meet up when we want to & have some fun, then go back to business as usual.

So, things are going totally cool with fun boy when I get a call from an ex with whom I still do business on occasion. He tells me that him & his woman are done & he wants to take me out on a proper date, we broke up over 2 years ago & our relationship was beyond complicated but lets just say we kept it private. Of course I said I'd totally be down because after everything I went through with this man I at least deserve a free meal, trust me!!

Then yesterday I'm chatting with another ex online & I get the feeling that he's flirting with me. Now he just got out of a relationship about a month ago and I'm not looking to be some rebound girl, it's way too late in the game for that not to mention the fact that I already played a similar type role in his life over a year ago by being the girl who opened his eyes. I will admit however, that I definitely in a way miss him so I was very happy by the change but still unsure if he was actually flirting. Today, the boy was DEFINITELY flirting with me & I flirted right back so my friends I hope to God that this may actually be my year, it's off to a flirty good start all around & I've been waiting 31 years to be lucky in love so keep your fingers crossed!!